Guidance: Empower Tools

Practicing Empower Tools from Andrea Pierotti on Vimeo.

After this session, the teacher gives some feedback.

“The good things about that was that you said that strong statement and then [snapping her fingers] you walked away.”

The child responds with a sense of self. She is beginning to know how she reacts in these tense situations and chooses to react based on knoweldge of herself.

“Because I won’t let you say anything more because I can get very sensitive, so I just like to walk away.”

One of the highlights of our week is when our guidance counselor comes to class for a guidance lesson. Ann works with each teacher to address the social and emotional needs of the class. Our class seems particularly engaged when role play is involved.

Currently Ann is practicing tools that the children can use when someone is saying unkind things to them. In a perfect world everyone would only ever say kind things, but here we are in reality where children need to know how to stick up for themselves.

Along with these tools, Ann teaches the children to be as assertive as possible, make eye contact with the person, to stay calm and not get really reactive (since the perpetrator is often trying to get a reaction from the target) and to get the help of an adult as needed. Ann also discusses the role of the bystander in helping with these situations.

Here is the current list of tools. They are designed to distract, deflect or catch the perpetrator off guard. Ask your child for more information and perhaps a demonstration of these tools in use. That could make for some interesting dinner conversations, right?

Empower Tools

· Tell the other child to stop

· Throw them off by asking why? Why? Why?

· Walk away

· Reply with phrases like "so," "whatever," "huh," "who cares?"

· Change the subject

· Act silly or goofy

· Turn an insult into a compliment

· Agree

Ann includes a special disclaimer.

* If a tool doesn't work, don't keep using it. And if you don't feel comfortable or safe using any of the tools, don't use them!

If you want more insightful information from Ann, check our her blog.

http://schoolcounselorfocus.blogspot.com/